Sunday, 16 January 2011

Amending A Broken Heart


This is for that special someone. U wouldn’t know this is for u until u read it all.

Today i woke up miserably. I had a bad nightmare. U was there. My friends were there too. But most importantly, i was there, seeing all those things happened in a blink of an eye. But it seems u can’t see me. I wore this special robe where i turn invincible just like in Harry Potter’s movie. U stole my friends, all of them...

Remembering this, i made a mistake few weeks back. The worst feeling ever is when we made a mistake, and have to act like we don’t care at all. I do care! But i need to act like i did not. I guess nobody's perfect. We're just a bunch of ardent egoists. To think about it, yesterday was one of the best days of my life, today im regretting every moment of it. I guess u could say im an actor. A really great one i presume.

Life is like a roller coaster. It wouldn’t be fun without the ups and downs, turns and loops.  Currently, im in the state where im at the lowest point of all. When something bad happens, u have 3 choices. U can either let it define u, destroy u or let it strengthen u. I hope this time it will strengthen me. Sometimes life is too complicated and u just have to flow with it since god controls everything.

With all the smiles u brought me, i never thought that u could cause me so many tears. How could someone who could brighten my darkest day turn into the only reason my life has become miserable? I hope i learn from my mistake. My suggestion? Never get too attached to anyone because attachments leads to expectations, and expectations lead to disappointments. 

Never have regrets, be kind to all and love unconditionally. These are ways to live ur life to the fullest, because u never know which breath will be ur last. I remember this one quote. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt urself putting it back together.

Now im not sure what i should do. Feeling so low. Give me strength! Please...

Aku Anoz

Friday, 14 January 2011

Tomorrow Is Fresh Without Mistake In It


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there. To serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You'll never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger). But when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful and unfair at first. But in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become. Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally. Not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.

Tell yourself that you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.

Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was it worth it?


I'm not sure why, but lately, quite a lot of my love ones deactivate their Facebook. Please come back. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending.

Adapted from an email

Aku Anoz

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Apa Jadah Peribahasa Dot Com?


Dah lama tak update blog apatah lagi update dalam Bahasa Melayu. Aku terasa bijak bila buat entry bahasa penjajah. Baru nampak kacak dan berseni.

Zaman sekarang ramai dah tak tahu guna peribahasa. Teringat kisah yang terjadi baru-baru ini.

Bapa: Kamu tau tak apa maksud melukut di tepi gantang? 
Anak: Mane orang tahu! Orang belajar bahasa inggeris je sekarang.
Bapa: Tak kan tak ada langsung belajar bahasa Melayu kat University Manchester tu? Dulu kat sekolah kan dah belajar? Tak ingat ke?
Anak: Mana ada ajar kat sini. Ni universiti mat salleh ni. Belajar dulu dah lupa lah.

Bapa: Adoi. Sekarang kan zaman internet. Semua ada. Kamu cari je kat semua peribahasa ada… Apa jadah?


Kamu percaya tak, dulu masa aku sekolah dekat Langkawi, hampir sepanjang tingkatan empat, kawan-kawan aku panggil aku CINTA. Serius. Tanya rakan-rakan aku dulu yang dari sekolah sama.

Kacak kan nama CINTA?

Dulu memang aku gila tengok ‘Ada Ada Dengan Cinta’, filem dari Indonesia. Aku tengok sampai cd cerita tu calar dan tak boleh tengok lagi. Sampai kebanyakan dialog dalam filem tu aku hafal. Jadi di sekolah aku selalu ulang-ulang dialog cerita itu. Lagi-lagi kepada gadis-gadis denit. Tu yang terbit nama CINTA tu. Sampai cikgu aku pun panggil aku CINTA.

Tapi lama-lama nama ANOZ tetap lebih dekat dihati peminat-peminat aku. Aku rasa ANOZ lagi kacak dari CINTA. Nama nak CINTA, apa jadah kan?Takut juga orang ingat aku ni lelaki yang tak jelas orientasi jantinanya. Nanti tak pasal-pasal nama aku meniti di bibir persatuan-persatuan gay seluruh Malaysia. Mana aku nak sembunyikan lubang bontot aku?


Exam dah semakin hampir. Aku dah risau. Aku update sekadar suka-suka coki-coki. Terasa ingin mencari cinta. Ada sesiapa sudi? Selamat malam.

Aku Anoz